Her Lost Soul: Part 1

Crying-woman-1469621She walked to the stereo and plugged in the one song that spoke everything that was in her mind. Full blast it played on repeat, reminding her of her thoughts. Alone, in a place she knew nothing about. Drained, confused, and unsure of life. Stuck day in and day out between four walls, staring in a floor length mirror that bared all. There she was, the woman that everyone thought had it all. The woman that so many envyed, and secretly wanted to be. The woman that no one knew was tired and lost.

She stood there, in a daze, just staring. Staring at the woman she had come to be. Staring deep into her mind, her soul. Her body was limp and her hair was all disheveled. Her eyes were the color of blood, hung low and carried bags underneath. Her arms dangled effortlessly by the side of her fragile body. Her feet planted firmly into the carpet of her bedroom floor, from the weight her body wanted desperately to let go of. As she looked past the blurred vision in her eyes into the mirror she lost herself.

“AAAAAAAAUUGGHHHHH” she screamed, as part of the glass from the mirror shattered on the floor. “UGGGHHHHHH” she let out as the other half followed. She stood there, staring into what was left of her reflection. Her face, that looked exhausted from life looked back at her. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” she yelled once more, as the last of the mirror crashed.

Her chest rose up, then down, up, then down. As her arms shook profusely, her body trembled with anger. But who was she angry with? Herself? Life? God? Her knees buckled as they wanted to give in. But she stood limply in place, for she wasn’t done.

Her breaths became more and more heavy, louder, and harder. She ran to the wall, and punched a hole into it that required the strength of a body builder. She slowly looked down at her hand, while listening to her breath getting heavier and harder. As her screams blended with the music, she flipped over the side table, and threw it into the wall that held a picture. Her favorite picture, the picture that held so much meaning. She showed no emotion as it came crashing down onto the floor.

She slowly walked to her bed, and sat softly on the side. She looked up to the table, and grabbed the bottle that was sitting on the corner. She stared at them, lifeless, emotionless. She heard the cap pop, and shook out more than enough. Swallowing what was in her hand, she held out her other, so she could get more. Shaking and shaking until she couldn’t shake any more, the bottle dropped and made a hollow noise

This was it. The end. The last moments.

She got up with the pills in hand, and slowly walked to the front of the bed, trying to shove every last pill into her mouth. She could hear the pills dropping to the floor, the music blasting into her ears. She dropped to the floor, and looked at what was once her bedroom. Glass everywhere and furniture turned, she looked down as her eyes began to close and her head began to spin. Her feet, they were covered in spots and lines of what seemed to look like blood. Her legs too.

She began to invite the feeling of emptiness her body brought on. She felt warm, and weak. She allowed her eyes to close, ready for another life.



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